Tag Archive | saying goodbye

Don’t Know If I’m Coming Or Going

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While going thru my photos earlier this week I came across these two.  The people who have seen them, including my daughter, thought they are of the same baby.  Nope!  The top one is my daughter, the next one is my sister.  And when I challenged my daughter to pick out her photo, she chose the wrong one!   My sis will love that!  But seriously, they really do look so much alike it would be easy for people who haven’t had the photos for over 50 years to make that booboo.  I also noticed, in looking at a photo of my sister’s granddaughter, she also looks just like these two.  The difference is only in the clothing in her case.

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This is Jennifer, my baby that I will be with soon.  At least that’s where I hope to go!  I never got a chance to hold her on this level, so it’s exciting to think about finally seeing and holding her in heaven.  I know, things are very different in the next plane, but I can find comfort in believing she will be a baby and that I’ll finally get to hold her.  I have thought often about Jennifer taking my puppy, Max for long walks where he runs free.  After all, dogs are people too, right?

I can feel my heart acting up now.  Interesting that after being told 8 years ago I would need open heart surgery within a year I am only now feeling a few problems.  MS is like that though.  And MS is the culprit here, a condition I’ve lived with since I was 11.   We didn’t know about it back then, and it’s still something that is considered an “orphan” disease.  I could have left that one in an orphanage somewhere and been just as happy.  I guess someone had to have it though, and it has made me who I am today — a complete train wrecked lifestyle and everything that goes with train wrecks.

13239220_281245228877592_7486238907476029677_nSince I mentioned Max it occured to me that I should put his photo on here.  Lucky for me he was never spoiled.  And if  you believe that, I have this blue bridge for sale.  It spans the Ohio River — the bridge, not Max.   It really is a nice bridge, a bit on the narrow side, but the blue blends well with the sky — provided the sun is out and not the clouds!

I’m sitting on a very uncomfortable lump of something right now, so that just seems like a good point to end this one.  Today has been okay so far, but I just got up so things haven’t had a chance to get very hairy yet.  Love all y’all.

Testing, Testing

I’m trying desperately to fix my blog so I can find it, not to mention so my friends can find it.  It’s been several months — actually, I can look on my receipt for the exact date my “http://reflectionsonlife.com” blog disappeared from my touch.  It seems that as soon as I made it into a .com address the so-called “Happiness Engineers”disappeared from the help mode.

All efforts to get my domain back have resulted in my being immediately transferred to a web page that informs me my blog name is for sale.  Hmmm, if there was only a way to sweetly say what I’ve thought about these people during my struggles to regain access to my blog.  I have to go in thru what I call a “back door” and then try again and again to fix the problems.  Oh, no, not again!  Three times I’ve lost my work due to this form of greed on someone’s part.  Bottom line here, at least as far as I can tell, is that someone is pirating each of the domains I pay for and re-marketing them.  I shudda figured this out before now, so I accept most of the blame for what has happened.  Just don’t ever pay for your domain or you just might find it no longer belongs to you.  But, even that doesn’t bother me now.  I have them figured out, so I’ll simply cancel everything I have paid for with these folks and try to save this blog for as long as I’ll be able to use it.

Ya see, I won’t be around this ole world much longer.  I’ve known this for quite some time, but it was not this close to the end until now.  Now I feel that it’s time to get my life in order, and the first thing I got in order was my anger at idiots who probably just don’t know any better than to do what they did to me.  I’m not even angry at the person who visited me one day and left with my last $20 in hand.  I’m sure she enjoyed every penny of that money, and it wasn’t as if I needed anything so bad that it would make or break me.  It has to take a desperate woman to be so blatant about her activities, and I don’t even feel stupid about not noticing what she was doing.  Dying gives certain insights that were denied me previously and it is a real turn-on for me.  Life has become the ultimate train ride now and I savor every moment of it.  I’ve been given a  chance many people never have — a chance to say things like “goodbye” and “I love you” to the people who will have to remain here a little longer.  

For the time being, enjoy my orchid. A.

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